staceebrignac

I guess my title says it all. After a really great week, I can’t honestly say that I started this week with the same enthusiasm. I so did not want to work out today. I so did not want to count calories today. I so did not want to spend an hour on the eliptical machine. As a matter of fact when I did walk in to the gym (after an hour of convincing myself to go) the guy at the desk made a remark something to the fact that I look like pure dred. I forced a smile and went on my way. After sweating thru a workout out that I really didn’t want to do, I still went home with a chip on my shoulder because I really wanted to stop at the McDonald’s that’s next to the gym (who’s idea was that?).  Once I got home, I talked to my mother at work and told her how I was feeling and she told me….”Stacee, you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it”!  Such a simple statement and at first I just kind of rolled my eyes and wanted to hang up the phone. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I guess I’m feeling a little better…yes definitely better…it’s like I just got permission to not always like this process. Don’t get me wrong, I normally like getting away from the house and kids and working out the stress of the day. I’ve enjoyed the energy all this week and feeling good knowing that I’m finally doing something about my weight. But I guess I’m also feeling good knowing that I don’t always have to feel good about it…hmmmm, does that even make sense?  Haha…I don’t even know myself. :).

Yeah. I’ve survived one whole week!!! New goal….survive another week!!!!

Greetings. I’m actually writing about Day 6 on Day 7 because quite frankly when I got home from my workout last night, I passed out.  Today, I’m not sore but chaffed!!! Is this a big woman syndrome? Will I continue to chaffe once I get these thunder thighs down? I so look forward to the day when I can workout in the short sets…it’s much cooler!

 I’m doing pretty good on my goals, although I did cheat a little bit yesterday and broke down and had a chalupa at Taco Bell with my kids yesterday. I punished…well I guess I shouldn’t call it punish, but I stayed on the eliptical machine yesterday until I burned all the calories from that chalupa.  Since, I’m just in the first weeks of my journey is it safer at this point  to resist to temptation and not eat those things at all or is it okay to eat those bad things but in moderation? Hmmmmmmmh?

Ok…let’s just saying that I’m tired…..(understatement).  I went to the gym this evening, stoked. Man I was on my eliptical machine. Mp3 player had me rolling. I felt good and had plenty of energy and there was just an awesome vibe going on. I got my lift on and then made the decison to hit the sauna room. I have to say that I felt like someone was just pushing me into the ground. I think every inch of me was soaking. I feel like I had more of a workout in the sauana then I did with my actual workout. Is this normal? I had intended to stay in there for 30 mintues but only could stand it for 15. You would think that since I live in the southwest, I should be able to stand the heat!!!!

So I couldn’t get up at 5 for two days in a row to get to the gym but I did go this evening. I had an awesome workout. The eliptical machine kicked my butt, but I burned 800 calories and I spent another 30 mintues lifting. I’m pretty confident that I burned off 80% of the food that I ate today!!! So even though, I didn’t reach my goal of less carbs, I’m hoping it doesn’t matter cause I burned them off!!! At least that’s what I keep telling myself anyway. I once again want to thank all the words of encouragement form everyone. I hope that I can only maintain. My weight loss is probably going to take me over a year and I will welcome all your advice, thoughts…and how you did its!!! My goal now is to go to bed with this natural high and not take my butt downstairs and get a snack!!!

Well there’s good news and bad news. My goal for today was to get up at 5am and exercise and to lower my carb intake. The good news is that I DID get up at 5 and got my butt to the gym. 1 hour eliptical and 30 mintues of lifting. I had enough energy to do some laundry, clean up the downstairs and take my kids walking (of course by 1, I was ready for a nap)…My carbs…well my intake was definitly lower than yesterday…and I was doing pretty good until dinner. That darn spinach souffle. I had intended to only eat 1/3 of it but at it all. So, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. This is a process and I’m going to at least celebrate the small victories. My goal tomorrow is to once again workout at 5 am, lower my carb intake, and get more fiber!!!! Thanks for those that wished me good luck. I think what I needed most was just a place to put down my struggle on paper and have some kind of visual.

Today is going ok. The good thing about the food journal is that I’m realizing that even though I’m not taking in a lot of calories, I’m still eating a lot of carbs. So, I’ve decided to make a mini goal tomorrow and that goal is to lower my carb intake. I’m also returning for the first time this year to the gym. I’m planning on going in the am round 5. That should shock my system!!!

Well…I’m about to head off to bed. I must say that the hardest part of all this was at night after eating dinner. I really feel like I lost my best friend. Trying not to eat all those little snacks at night after my kids go to sleep. That was tough. I thought I’d take my mind off food by reading a book. Reading about a decadent princess only made me think about those decadent chocolates in the pantry. So I got up and went and did my taxes. Yes I signed on to Turbotax and panged away. I was so engaged that I really did forget about those chocolates. So I triumphed but still feel like a failure because I still don’t seem to have self control and had to resort to an alternative method. But I guess baby steps…baby steps and that’s all that matters. So, now I’m going to go to bed and that way…I won’t eat…well maybe in my dreams.

This is the year that I deliver on the promise to myself. I’m a former athlete who let her self control and good practices go down the drain. I wish that I can continue to blame my weight on my pregnancies but my baby will be turning 3 on Monday and it’s time I do something. I’m 100 pounds overweight, my feet are swelling, my thyroid is out of whack, and right now I’m just really unhappy. I don’t like taking pictures. I just don’t like stepping outside of my house right now. I’m 35 and I’ve been in the house too long. I want to come outside in the sunshine and remember what it was like to have some self confidence.